31 D Joke of the day

TATTI  VANDI.......

A Keralite passenger is boarding a plane.....

Air hostess smiles in welcome..."Namaste!"

Keralite: "Tatti Vandi!"

Air hostess (shocked):

"What??"

Passesnger:  - "Tatti Vandi!!"

Air hostess calls flight attendant......

Flight Attendant: "Can I help you, Sir?"

Passenger: Yes ! "Tatti Vandi!!"

Flight attendant: "Excuse me??"

Passenger : "Tatti Vandi"

Flight Attendant opens the door of the toilet in the front of the cabin and waves the passenger inside.....

Passenger gets annoyed and waves
the boarding card at him angrily.

Flight attendant looks at the boarding card and bursts out laughing.

Controls himself, and says:

"Oh, your seat........

        31 D, ..

This way please!!!"

Bahubali joke

બાહુબલી ની હત્યા જોઇને એક નિદૉષ બાળક ગભરાઈ ને બોલ્યો

આ વેકેશનમાં હુ મામા ને ત્યા રહેવા નઈ જઉ

Randsomeware joke

Ransomware hackers tried hacking IRCTC. As per latest reports, they r still waiting for the site to load.

Joke of the day - Doctor

MBBS 2nd year viva examination

Subject- Forensic Medicine

Examinar- Tell me the definition of death.

Student- 😰

Examiner-What is death??

Student- 🤐

Examiner-मृत्यु क्या है मृत्यु ?

Student-
हमारे आत्मबल से शत्रु का बल ज्यादा है ये सोचना है मृत्यु !
रणभूमि में शत्रु से भयभीत हो कर जीवित रहना है मृत्यु !
जिस नीच ने मेरी माँ का अपमान किया उसका सर काटकर माँ के चरणों में अर्पित किये बिना उसे पीठ दिखाकर भागना है मृत्यु !
उस मृत्यु को मारने जा रहा हूँ मैं !
उसकी छाती चीरकर ये कहने जा रहा हूँ मैं....💪🏻💪🏻

Before he speaks, Examiner shouted...

जय माहिष्मती !!!

Randsomeware Joke of the day

I got attacked by ransomware and was asked for money...

I sent them my salary slip... Immediately they themselves removed it from my system.

Bahubali joke

The reason why ladies love Amarendra Baahubali is  not that he is handsome, good fighter or his ability to control elephants.... but his ability to say

"Amma, you are wrong!"

Husband wife joke

એક શોધ ના આધારે જાહેર થયું છે કે

પરણેલા પુરુષ નું પેટ વધવા નું કારણ
મિત્રો જોડે કરેલા ભરપેટ નાસ્તા બાદ ઘરે પણ પત્ની ની બીક માં ખાવું એ પણ હોઈ શકે....

Discovery!!!

Reason why men gains weights after marriage is, after having lots of snacks with friend he has to no option then to eat food prepared by wife....

That's the reason why men gets fat after marriage.

Randsomeware joke one more

Hey god!!!

Please help and delete all DATA from the bank which I had borrowed, using "randsomeware virus".

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Loan Taker.

Blast of the day

Blast of the day:
Best Answer given by an Indian Citizen:-
My Income Tax return form has been sent back because, In response to a question for 'Number of Dependents on you?',  I replied :---
"65% of population who doesn't pay taxes, 21 million illegal immigrants, 9,00,000 criminals in over 1382 prisons and above all 544+ MPs in parliament"and 4000 MLA's of states.
They said, this is not an acceptable answer.
I am still wondering..... Who the hell did I miss out!!.

Dedicated to all tax payers.

Quote / Joke of the day

What is hospital?

Its a toll booth between heaven and earth.

Current situation

आज का कड़वा सत्य
Fact of today

पूरी दुनिया में महिलाएं *3.15* अरब
Overall WOMEN population of world 3.15 billion

फेसबुक पर महिलायें  *5.67* अरब
Overall WOMEN population on Facebook 5.67 billion

Joke of the day: BITTER TRUTH

BITTER TRUTH

At market
Bhaiya gobi kaise diye?
₹20/kg
Bhaiya 15 laga do.

At dominos
1 medium pizza.
₹285
₹300. Keep the change.

Status update on facebook
"Farmers are dying"

Joke of the day

Part 1

Just before the Satyanarayan Puja the wife asks her husband ...,

Wife : Hope you remember Aarti?

Husband : Yes the slim girl with brown eyes who stays in 402 and drives a  wagon R?

....... 

before Satyanarayan Puja itself the Husband got Prasad

Part 2

Yesterday evening while prayer was going on
કાલે સાંજે પૂજા કરતા..

Wife:
Do you remember "aarti"?
વાઈફ:
તને આરતી તો યાદ છે ને..??

Wife:
Yes, that thin, bright eyes, beautiful, who wears sari below waist right??
હાં, પેલી પતલી, માંજરી આંખો વારી, નમણી અને કમર થી નીચી સાડી પહેરે છે, તેજ ને..??

Then, pooja did happened!!!!!
પછી તો જે પૂજા થઇ..

Greetings to god!!!
*બોલો સત્યનારાયણ દેવ કી..*

Joke of the Day

Sardar ring📞 a call centre,
"My internet is not working properly."

Officer:
"Ok
Double click on "My computer"

Sardar:
"I can't see ur computer💻"

Officer:
"No no
click on "My computer" on ur computer."

Sardar:
"How can I click on ur computer from my computer?"

Officer:
"Listen
There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on ur computer. Double click on it."

Sardar:
"What  the hell😡, what is your computer doing on my computer..?"

Officer:
"Double click on your computer."

Sardar:
"On which Icon i've to click?"

Officer:
"My Computer"

Sardar:
"Oh Teri......Pagal insaan
Tell me where is ur office. I'll come there and click on your
"Computer."

Joke of the Day

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kinda strange so she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you

Husband: What’s up?

Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid

Husband: Well you dont’t remember, do you??
When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had pooped.
Then you said:
Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.
So I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there. 

Joke of the day

Doctor - Your case is quite complicated.

Patient - Why doctor? What happened?

Doctor - You got a disease from the chapter  which I left as optional during my studies.

Joke of the Day

A Korean actress revealed that she eats only 3 spoons of rice everyday in order to be slim
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Our Indian women eat those 3 spoons to check whether  the lunch is properly cooked and ready to be served  or not  !! 

Joke of the day

Today is Ravi's birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.

At the club -

DOORMAN: Hey Ravi! How are you?

WIFE: How does he know you?

Ravi: We play Golf together!

BARTENDER: The usual beer Ravi?

WIFE: And how does he know you?

Ravi: He's on the Bowling Team!

HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Ravi?

The Wife storms out...... dragging Ravi with her, into a taxi!

TAXI DRIVER: Hey Ravi boy .... You picked an ugly one this time ... Same Hotel?

Tomorrow is Ravi's funeral...

*Moral : Never let your wife Surprise you.*

Gujarat University

"Once a boy died & went 2 hell... The devil started to punish him but failed to make him sufer. Devil tried all the punishments but failed everytime.

Finaly, the devil started crying & asked how could he tolerate all this ???
He smiled & replied
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Once i was a student of Gujrat Technological University..!!!"